Breathwork

DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF?

Here’s what I recognise – the overwhelming majority of people don’t. They’re always second-guessing their decisions and there’s an underlying feeling of anxiety that pervades their life…. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop….

I know because that was me.

Internal guidance

For years I double-checked and took on board other peoples opinions. And guess what…..When you do that over and over (as our systems of learning/society/authority teach us to do) then you end up with a deep mistrusts in your internal guidance system. It’s like driving a car with a blindfold on – getting fed directions by somebody else….. Essentially you’re there, primed, waiting for the car to eventually crash. I think you’ll agree it’s not a good place to be.

Recently I’ve been working with one of my mentors on TRUST. It’s a big thing. I’ve also been on a deep dive with the kinesiology emotional clearing tools I’m trained in. What dawned on me a few days ago during one of her sermons was that trust is a DECISION. It’s an internal belief system. You might be thinking …. NO Philippa…. I need to trust BEFORE I can actually trust. Well good luck with that, because it’s NOT going to happen.

You either trust and believe in yourself or you don’t. It might sound simple but it’s true. It might be confronting, and if so, then it’s time to shift your paradigm for the better. My mentor has made $15m online from a soul-aligned business. It’s fair to say she knows what she’s talking about.

Belief system

So it got me thinking – how is it possible to flick the switch on trusting yourself?

To feel –
CERTAIN
CONFIDENT
EMPOWERED
& DEEP TRUST IN YOURSELF?

Then for the AHA moment… by using my kinesiology clearing tools to directly install new beliefs!

Go in and hack the system (because that’s essentially what these tools do) with a new belief system. It’s like hitting reboot on your computer after loading new software. Load new beliefs and new experiences await.

Like trusting yourself!

I’ve been experimenting on myself and it WORKS. I’m so excited to share this so I’ve designed a session specifically for you. We go in and rewrite the code. And then… miracles unfold.

Steps forward

If you’d love to overcome:
– procrastination
– second-guessing yourself
– anxiety
– worry worry worry
– the early and unnecessary onset of wrinkles

Then reach out to me and we can book you in a session.

Warning: This might just completely change your life for the better.

Remember,
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.

Philippa x

DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF? Read More »

WHAT STORIES WILL YOU TELL THE NEXT GENERATION?

Last night as I walked along watching the sunset, I passed by this bench and stopped. It was one of the last spots I remember spending time with my grandmother. I drew a breath and remembered some of the stories from her life. She was always one of those real ‘characters’ that had tales to tell that were sometimes SO far fetched we often wondered if she made them up. Perhaps some of them, certainly, but she was so audacious that I believe that many of them actually happened. As children my brother and I would ask her to recount these stories and it kept us entertained for hours on end.

Like the time my uncle ran away from home and cooked sausages along the river, or when her kids painted a whole room in black and white without her knowing. Then there were tales of mystical India in the 80’s, royal sailing connections, NOT being permitted to study at RADA and her father throwing her shoes on the fire. It was always a rip roaring ride, often interspersed with memorised poetry that she enjoyed immensely. She definitely had a penchant for spinning a good yarn!

As I reflected and laughed to myself, I began to ponder my life and started to recount the many varied experiences I’ve had.

What stories are you telling?

We are assimilating bits and bobs and they ‘make’ us who we are. Some of the stories are empowering, the vast majority are not. They are based on loss, separation, pain, conflict, drama and judgement. One way to unite the people? Give them a common enemy. Cos’ haters gonna hate and all that. We’re telling stories to our children before they’re even born. What happens to us in our lives directly imprints the same stories onto the younger generation. Emotions experienced by the mother during pregnancy are felt by the unborn child. The programming begins earlier than you think.

Once we physically arrive, the onslaught continues and is assumed into the subconscious mind before you can say ‘Bob’s your uncle’… Many of the stories in society are false. Plain lies. Perpetuated and spread unconsciously, sometimes labelled as ‘tradition’ or ‘how things are’. Yet we fail to recognise that we are passing on ‘human behaviour’ by rote and from a place of both ignorance and arrogance.

The ego has us believe that we know ‘right’ and how life ‘should be lived’. False. The majority of us have no clue about living. Freedom of thought. Relating. Parenting. Even basic self-care and nutrition.
We are ignorant, and risk passing on more layers of ignorance to the next generation. In this moment of stillness and introspection we have the opportunity to consider what we choose to hold dear, and to release everything that is poisoning our hearts and minds. Stories have the capacity to be a blessing or a curse. The right story can rewrite history. The wrong story can end it once and for all.

My path lies with re-writing my story and co-creating a magical, harmonious and empowered life.

How about you? What stories will you tell the future generation?

Remember,
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.

Philippa x

WHAT STORIES WILL YOU TELL THE NEXT GENERATION? Read More »

YOUR EMOTIONS ARE THE PATH TO FREEDOM

Yesterday I recorded a video and spoke about how some people perceive breathwork and emotional healing as scary. I totally get it, because for most of my life I was one of those people too.

The thought of recalling the past and opening long welded shut closets petrified me. It felt infinitely more comfortable to stick with the present, thank you very much, and not go poking around in places where I didn’t know what I might find. My strategy worked for years until my life took a turn for the worst and I didn’t get a choice any longer. The skeletons suddenly broke loose and decided to have a party in my bedroom at the ungodly hour of 2am. After weeks of waking in the middle of the night with a paralysing sense of overwhelm, dread and grief I couldn’t ignore my pain any longer.  

It wanted my attention and now it had it.

Because I’d developed a thick shell (read: coping mechanisms) and was not accustomed to feeling my emotions it was a very rough patch. The dam had broken and there was now a thick and torrid current of energy that had been unleashed…. and I didn’t know how to swim. These waters were unfamiliar and it took everything I had to stay afloat and learn to ride the waves and follow the current.

The emotional flow

You see emotions are like water. They flow and mould. They change rapidly – one minute there’s a still and placid lake, the next minute an effervescent geyser. This my friends, is pure energy in motion. The energy that is actually meant to fuel your body and soul, rather than boil you alive. The dam breaking was my initiation into the water world and one that I’d been avoiding and as it turns out, desperately needed.

It’s only when our emotional energy is diverted that we have difficulties. Unlike the dam, the river of our emotions has a natural course. As the river bends and twists to find its way across the terrain, it naturally follows the path of least resistance and greatest flow. It moves unabated, until something gets in the way. Then it goes around.

Mans meddling with nature is apparent to see, and the same goes with our emotional dealings. Our emotional energy is blocked for the most part, and is creating a build up of energy. It’s like a stagnant pond, where things are rotting and dying and the stench is pretty nasty. The emotional energy that wanted to flow naturally, is now creating a problem. Repressing and suppressing this energy takes a considerable amount of force and drains our vital energy. It also creates rigidity and disconnection – just like the dam.

In the same way the river flows to the sea, our emotions seek to lead us to where we need to go. This is the navigation system of our soul. Sadly most of us don’t know how to switch the system on, let alone follow the instructions! This is a big problem. Whilst we are led from our minds, we cannot follow our true path. Our feelings and emotions have a different quality and communicate with us in a different way. It’s a whole new language to learn and it can be very confusing. However, this is the language you must learn if you want to uncover true freedom and create a meaningful life.

Where’s your programming leading you?

One of the difficulties we face is that many programmes and maps in the navigation system are wrong. There is faulty programming, so we therefore cannot fully trust the directions or the map. These coding errors are our unresolved emotional wounds and trauma, our misconceptions, our warped perceptions and our attachments.

The system is certainly not free from bugs and this is why emotional healing and breathwork are so important. Because they help you release old stories of the past so that the navigation system of your soul, your emotions, become more reflective of reality, rather than fantasy. When you clear out the errors the route to freedom becomes more and more clear. That’s what the real role of our emotions are, to guide us towards or away from things in our life, in order to deliver us to our greatest potential.

Fixing bugs and rebooting the system allow us to learn to trust in our inner sense to keep us safe and lead us home. That’s why your emotions are the path to freedom.

Remember,
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.

Philippa x

YOUR EMOTIONS ARE THE PATH TO FREEDOM Read More »

GRIEF WILL BURY YOU ALIVE

A few nights ago it hit me. I hadn’t stopped and dealt with life. As I sat for my evening breathwork session I found myself suddenly rewinding and arriving back 14 months earlier. February 2019. At the time I was working in a psychedelic retreat centre in the Netherlands, holding space and teaching breathwork. It was intense, and one of the most challenging and beautiful experiences of my life to date. I was working most weekends facilitating the healing and transformation of others from around the world. I was in the right place certainly, and I was on mission. Yet life was about to throw me a curve ball.

One Friday evening after our first day of retreat I arrived back to my apartment tired but satisfied. Out of the blue I received a phone call from my Dad. He was crying and incredibly distressed. My grandmother had been taken to hospital and was in a critical condition. I immediately burst into tears on the phone. She was experiencing heart failure and having difficulty breathing. To hear that someone (even at the age of 80) so fit and healthy was in dire straights sent a shockwave through my entire being.

He was at her bedside in hospital and so I asked him to put the phone near her so I could speak with her. I heard her voice croaking and could viscerally feel her pain and terror. We spoke for a couple of minutes and I told her she would be okay. I told her I loved her… and then my Dad came back on the line. A few moments later he said, “it’s not looking good. I don’t think she’s going to make it.”
I didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t believe it. It all seemed so absurd.

As we finished the call the reality started to sink in. This couldn’t be happening. So sudden, so surreal. One of the people I looked up to the most and had inspired my adventurous spirit was about to pass over. All without getting to say goodbye. It was unbearable.

I felt powerless, weak and childlike. What could I possibly do? Nothing. I was in Holland and she was in the UK and it was 11pm at night. There was no way of getting there in time. Tears flooded from my eyes and my body contracted with shock. I froze like a statue. My world stopped spinning and became very still. As the situation sunk in I did the only thing I could possibly think of.

I breathed on her behalf.

Riding the rollercoaster

My emotions were up and down for days. It was intensely painful, but I also knew that she was in a good place. I would hear her comforting words as if she was still here in the physical and it would reassure me to know she was okay, and reunited with her beloved mother. In some ways it was a blessing that she passed so fast, because if you knew her, you’d know she would have hated to lose her faculties or health. She was a tour de force to the last.

After a difficult few days it seemed the universe wasn’t done with me yet.

The following day my other grandmother had a seizure. I was staying with her and I was woken up by my aunt. After the ambulance arrived we headed to the hospital. I spent hours there, calming my Nan down. She wasn’t lucid and her mind and thoughts were all over the place.

She wanted to get off the bed but was hooked up to machines. I kept repeating what was happening and reassuring her. It went on for most of the day. Little did I realise that my time spent at the retreat centre had prepared me for this situation – to support my own family member in an altered state of consciousness whilst everyone else around me was in meltdown. It seems that life has strange ways of preparing you for the next challenge…

After what seemed like an eternity (and was probably more like 7 hours) she began returning to a normal state. It wasn’t the first or last time this type of event would happen, but after such an intense preceding few days I was exhausted.

Carrying on as normal

A few days later things were back to ‘normal’ and I returned to Holland. I did what I’d learned to do with pain and grief, which is to keep busy and get on with life. The following weekend I had another retreat. A week or two after that I was due to be facilitating a retreat in Costa Rica and the dates coincided with my Nans funeral.

I expect that if I’d needed to, I could have cancelled my trip. But a part of me didn’t want to. I wanted to run away and not have to come to terms with my grandmothers death. If I didn’t face it then it wasn’t real. And after all my work was also important and I couldn’t cancel. Decision made. My family understood the situation. Off I went to Costa Rica. The day of my Nan’s funeral came in the middle of the retreat and I did a little ritual on the beach (her all time favourite place) with sage. Every time I smell it burning I think of her. I said my goodbyes and closed the ritual. I sent some messages to my family back home and returned to ‘normal’.

But in all honesty it wasn’t normal. With everything that had happened my system had been overwhelmed and got totally blocked up. I packed up my pain and grief, compartmentalised it and forgot about it. I moved on. Every now and again I’d remember she was gone. During meditation and breathwork I’d sometimes feel someone holding my hand. I knew intuitively it was her. Like a reassurance I was on the right path.

Fast forward to a year or so later…

Grief revisited

A few nights ago in my breathing session it all came flooding into my awareness – I was transported back and shown everything that I’d done. I realised how I’d packed everything away and hadn’t allowed myself to deal with life. A tidal wave of grief flooded over me and consumed me. I cried and cried until my face hurt. She was there holding my hands, I could feel it. As the tears rolled down my cheeks I knew it was time to feel and release the pain. Something I’d been avoiding for over a year. I finally allowed myself to experience the depth of my sadness and breathed into it. As I did I could feel the wall that I’d built around my heart, and with each breath it was like a brick was being removed.

My heart had been buried alive and suspended in time, and had blocked part of me from living. I came to see how closed, guarded and disconnected that tender part of me had become and how I kept the world at a distance so I wouldn’t get hurt. Because part of me rationalised that if you never love, then you can never lose. Don’t get attached or let something fully in, because you’ll end up getting burnt. It’s safer to keep your distance and not go too deep. Bury and avoid your pain and it will go away. Keep busy and just get on with it, don’t look back and you’ll be fine. Life had indeed given me some of those experiences and I developed a very good memory and subconscious response to protect myself.

Understanding the pain

Yet in the midst of my deep discomfort I found myself rightfully asking: Is that really how I want to live my life? Withholding my full self and floating above the complex human experience? Detached, numb and with a fortress built around my heart? To my mind this made perfect sense, yet my soul knew it’s wasn’t the answer.

In the book The Places That Scare You – Pema Chodron thoughtful asks:
“Do I prefer to grow up and relate to life directly, or do I choose to live and die in fear?” 

It’s incredible how such a simple question cuts deeply to the heart of the matter, but here’s what I came to understand: 

Whether you like it or not, pain IS part of the human experience. Grief is the very proof that you did indeed love, and at a very deep level.

It makes sense that humans rationalise our emotions in order to avoid hurt. Yet if you never allow yourself to love, are you really experiencing the full spectrum of existence? Or are it just skimming the surface of life, in fear and anticipation of loss before it even happens? Keeping closed and guarded against some unknown eventuality that’s unlikely to materialise.

Is that really LIVING or just existing? Living? Existing? What will it be?

I decided I’m here to live, and to the best of my abilities at that. It might be the only life I get so I’m going to make the most of it. Why would I choose otherwise? I’ll be dammed if my fear mind is going to get the better of me.

Furthermore, Pena explains the second aspect of bodhicitta (awakening mind) as “our ability to keep our hearts and minds open to suffering without shutting down.”

This is what I believe our experience is here to teach us and it is the path of a true warrior. To keep opening ourselves and loving MORE, even through painful experiences. Much of our early life and ancestral trauma keeps us stuck here, yet the only way out is through.

I realised that I don’t teach breathwork because I’m an expert at it, far from it. It’s because I need to be reminded regularly that my feelings matter and they need to flow freely for me to stay healthy and sane. Whenever my mind leads me off the path, my breath continues to show me the way home.

Living in the colour of life

The infinite breadth of human emotion is what living is about. If contrast didn’t exist then I believe the world would be a very bland place.

Feeling my grief and sadness has begun to open my heart once more. With each breath the colour of life is returning and I feel softer and less guarded. Taking the time to allow my emotions to exist, be witnessed and freed, has in turn created more beauty in my life.

After a long slumber my heart is coming back to life. Perhaps it’s time for yours too?

Remember,
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.

Philippa x

GRIEF WILL BURY YOU ALIVE Read More »