Don’t panic, I’m not about to share something novel and groundbreaking with you. I’m not here to bust your paradigm… or am I? ;) I'm just going to remind you of something you ALREADY KNOW…. but don’t want to admit to yourself or anyone else for that matter.
YOU are responsible for where you’re currently at. Your life, your health, your happiness, your job etc. All of it. Complain all you like, if you like, but its not going to change the laws of the universe. They’re pretty set in stone (or rather energetic and mathematical codes way to complex for my little mind to comprehend….)
What I do know is this
If you want something different in your life - you WILL need to change something. No wishing, hoping, pining for change and doing the complete opposite action. Clear, determined, un-categoric choice for something different - and following it up with action, is what’s required. Putting your money where your mouth is, so to speak.
I realise it might feel far fetched and beyond your grasp. It did for me too, for far too long…. before I realised I was done with my self-sabotage and no matter what - was committed to getting out of my own way and sidestepping my own bullsh*t excuses.
External accountability is great, but if you’re not able to back that up with internal discipline then it’s going to be a fight to the death with your ego - which above else - wants you to stay the same.
Because change - seen through the eyes of your ego - means DEATH. Slow, painful, uncertain outcome type of death - is what it fears beyond anything. This is what is often referred to as ‘resistance’. You know, the typical excuses that arise when you commit to something, but you allow yourself to get sidetracked / sabotaged / distracted etc.
Stepping onto your path
At one point the destination seems pinpoint clear until you take a step or two forward and start to smack into the boulders placed in your way. Your internal mechanisms want to stay the same - but I'm guessing YOU don’t.
You want something different. Perhaps its been that way for a long time. Perhaps it’s a new and novel realisation. Either way, if you want a different outcome you’re going to HAVE to make a change somewhere. Einstein once said - repetition of the same thing expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity - or something to that effect. And he’s right.
No change = no change.
End of story. Full stop.
There IS light at the end of the tunnel however.
Many of the reasons you’ve not yet succeeded at changing something is highly likely to relate to your belief systems and current identity. What I mean by that is the the current version of you that resides in your head. The picture you hold of yourself in your minds eye. Again it’s most likely that the imaginary version you hold has been largely shaped by your life experience and early childhood environment and is wildly out of touch with the REAL you.
So if you grew up in a household where money was scarce, guess what type of beliefs your subconscious is encoded with?? Yep, scarcity. Lack. Concern about money and how you’re going to pay the bills and put food on the table.
When you decide on an identity (whether consciously or not) your outer reality will reflect it back to you. So within, as without.
Start with you
If you want to change, it’s most effective to start with the problem - YOU. Your inner landscape, beliefs, emotional baggage and crappy view of yourself. It’s possible to plaster over the cracks, but only for so long. Rest assured they WILL re-appear a few years down the line, at which time it will be trickier and more costly to repair.
Some part of you already knows this. Perhaps you can’t put it into words but you can feel it in your bones. The game is up. On the other hand if you’re reading this and you’re exactly where you wish to be in life, congratulations! Keep going!
And if not…don’t go changing…. UNLESS you want to be happier / healthier / wealthier / [insert hearts DESIRE here].
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.
Let’s talk about the human condition shall we?
Our organism is wired to survive at all costs. When stressful events happen our biology kicks in to protect our life and save us from danger. Fundamentally we have an animal nature. This is not in dispute.
Biologically you’re wired to survive. Psychologically - you have an opportunity to reflect and view your position on death. It would seem that the preoccupation of the human is death. When, how, under what conditions etc will it happen. So much worry and concern about something that may or may not happen, today, tomorrow or whenever.
Here’s the kicker
At some point in time you’re going to die. We ALL are. I appreciate that may be an unsettling thought, but if you have the courage to face it full on, it will actually set you free. You see humans are continually scanning for danger and creating ‘what if’ scenarios - does anyone suffer from anxiety out there? Hands up…. - I thought so. Anxiety is typically a projection into the future, of some unwanted event.
The mind is a helpful ally but a terrible master. What you focus your attention on grows, and what you resist persists. So the fear of death will create, you guessed it, more fear. And then fear of the fear… and then total overwhelm, meltdown, and shutting yourself in isolation wrapped in cotton wool….or whatever else you do in the face of a global pandemic.
Simply because we make the assumption that death is ‘bad’. Certainly nobody wants to bow out before their allotted time, but it’s pointless worrying about ‘when’ that time might come. By all means get your life insurance in place and make arrangements (like i said it will happen one day…) but don’t allow your very existence to be sullied by the continuous babble of the mind that wishes to create all multitude of disaster scenarios to keep itself occupied.
Like I said we make the assumption that death is bad. I expect because we then no longer get to experience this physical existence with our nearest, dearest, pets and lovers. To hold, touch, and taste the sweet nectar of life.
Worrying about nothing?
However let’s be frank - nobody knows what’s on the other side. So why are we making the assumption that it’s a bad thing, or any worse than the current reality in which we co-exist? Depending on your beliefs you may argue the point that the other side IS known. This is a personal view I share, however you are invited to make up your own mind. I don’t believe consciousness is limited to this physical vessel, and this belief is formed from my direct personal experience.
It’s for each of us to determine for ourselves whether the ‘afterlife’ in whatever guise, fits our narrative. In much the same way that a child in the womb does not know what will come next as they enter into this vastly different physical reality, neither do we. The babe is born and enters this realm - one totally alien and new. We forget that we have each had this experience too.
Making the assumption that death is bad limits our ability to experience and enjoy life. If your fear of death is propelling you to live a more wholesome and fulfilling life, and inviting you to go after your dreams - then great! Keep going! However if your rumination on death and it’s inevitable yet undetermined date of arrival is leading you to anxiety and depression, this is an invitation to start living NOW.
Time to take control
It’s never too late. Accept the unacceptable. Face up to the reality. And instead of cowering in the corner waiting for the day when the grim reaper arrives with his cape and scythe, take your life by the horns and do the things you’ve always wanted to do.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You get to choose how you want to live it. Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop? Or are you going to boldly step forward and claim your living?
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.
The ground is continuously shifting under your feet. The goalposts are moving. What was proclaimed ‘fact’ last week has been reclassified this week, and downplayed or hidden by the media. Agendas are being pushed. Increasing levels of chaos abound. You couldn’t keep up if you tried.
It’s fair to say we’re living in a time where our ability to cope with the pace of change is implausible. We’re experiencing what’s known as ‘future shock’, where dramatic and cumulative events overwhelm our ability to process and adapt, leaving us stunned and confused. Not knowing which way to turn. Overwhelmed.
First of all, it’s OK. Take a breath. We’re all in the same boat.
The world is changing and I understand it’s terrifying - like a rollercoaster that you just wish would STOP RIGHT NOW. But we know that’s highly unlikely to happen. A tipping point has been reached and there is no going back.
What matters now is how we go forward. Take a moment to pause and recognise that this IS within your sphere of influence.
Letting go of control
A few years ago I'd have been completely paralysed and overwhelmed by the current situation. [Sidenote: I was a little bit of a control freak, and liked to have things ‘just so’. An ex-boyfriend once refused to cook with me after I insisted on telling him how to chop onions. Poor guy.]
Yet in 2014 that all changed when I detonated a bomb on my neat, tidy, comfortable existence. I intentionally threw everything out of the window - left my corporate job, my apartment, friends and family, to live in a foreign country, learn a new language and start over from scratch. I didn’t realise that’s what I was doing at the time, but the truth is you never know what lies on the other side when you hurl yourself into the abyss. I had the finances, yes, but beyond that I had no other solid ground. I pulled up anchor and cast off for distant shores, with no clue what lay ahead. And guess what….
More than that - I completely reinvented myself, overcame my demons and THRIVED. In the midst of uncertainty, chaos and not knowing what was next. Upon releasing the tight grip I had on life, I learned to trust grace to lead the way. To flow and respond to the here and now. Paying attention to what’s in front of me and taking action accordingly. Dancing in the present moment and allowing the next step to be revealed in exactly the timing that’s required.
A path of discovery
I’m not going to lie - there were some pretty rough lessons I learned along the way, and some magical, unreal experiences too. The more I pushed my fear mind out of the way, the more surreal and mystical my life was. I had found breathwork and in doing so, discovered hidden depths within myself that I didn’t know existed. I became one with life, and in turn life became one with me. After all, there is no separation. We just imagine there is.
I expect you’re wondering how I coped, what was my mindset, what actions did I take etc…..Perhaps you want to know how I came to make sense in a mad world. The truth is I didn’t. You can’t. The world IS mad (or certainly chaotic) and you won’t make sense of it. So stop trying. [And no, I don’t mean give up, read on] The only thing for it, therefore, is to MAKE SENSE OF YOURSELF.
This is the secret to what I did, and I now extend the same invitation to you...
Get to know yourself on a deep level. Let go of the past. Become aware of your thoughts and behaviours. Respect your body and form a relationship with it. Align your life with your soul. Support yourself, and in turn you will be strengthened to support others.
Making sense of yourself is the best antidote to a mad world. It’s the one thing you DO have influence over and you can start right this minute.
Take a breath. And another. Another. Deep into your abdomen. Keep going. This is where the answers lie. This is where transformation happens. One breath at a time. This will reveal that you’re magic too. Everything you need is within you, I promise.
Now it’s your turn to breathe and believe. You’ve got this.
Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.