What does it mean and why does it matter?

I came across a LinkedIn post today about the recent horrific events pertaining to a young woman who recently lost her life at the hands of an alleged male murderer. This is the type of news that nobody wishes into existence.

However the tone of the post and subsequent comments left me even more concerned and alarmed. It was a full blown rant at men and signed off with “Men, do better”. The comments section was then a battle ground, where some seemingly well intentioned men were asking questions and being told to ‘educate themselves’.

I’m not here men or women bashing. This is the whole point. We must all ‘do better’.
Why do we live in a violent society? Because as a human race we have experienced horrendous amounts of violence and denigration – to both sexes. Think war, famine, conflict, the list goes on. Yes men are physically larger and stronger, and hence capable of harm to others. 

However if you give anybody a weapon they care capable of inflicting damage.

Just because you don’t have a knife in your hand on social media, doesn’t mean you’re not inflicting the same level of damage.

We must all ‘do better’.

Hence are you processing or projecting your unhealed trauma? Society is made up of individuals, whom each have the responsibility to do their share of the work. That includes doing their own trauma work.

You don’t have any I hear you say? If you’re a human living in a body then I hate to break the news to you, but that is utter BS. The entire human race is traumatised, it’s just that we are like a fish that doesn’t know what water is, because it’s something we are born into. We don’t know any different.

If we are not aware of our trauma (which isn’t the type that might historically be associated with ‘big T’ trauma) then the chances are we are projecting it out onto the world.

When we do this – we create more pain and suffering – for ourselves and those on the receiving end. Rather than take the opportunity to resolve the pattern and heal it, we perpetuate it and pass it down the generational line. Yes – think your children, family and anyone else you deal with day to day.

Trauma in essence is an unresolved experience. It is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, which may result in feelings of helplessness, and reduce our ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.

Trauma and beliefs also go hand in hand. If you’ve had a negative experience with {insert x) then you will likely develop a belief about that situation / person and carry it around with you for the rest of your life – for better or worse.

When we carry it, we have a tendency to spill it out everywhere we go. The saying goes that ‘If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on the people who didn’t cut you’. This is why our focus must be directed at what we can do within ourselves, rather than creating more pain and division by our unconscious actions.

Why is healing your trauma so important? Simply this.

So you can stop living as a victim and take control of your life. So you may become empowered, and ultimately so you can thrive!

Your mind is the most powerful tool for creation you have – full stop. What you perceive becomes your reality. So if you see threat and violence, all around you then guess is what you are going to create? I’m not writing this to shame anybody. Unfortunate things happen. This is, I believe ultimately because we have become disconnected from love – which is the source of our humanity.

Our societies and cultures and dysfunctional. They have been this way for millennia. Blaming someone else is not going to bring about change. Only you can do that, from the inside out.
The only way out is through. Through the feelings, through the pain, through the suffering. When we make the courageous choice to alchemise our suffering and turn it into gold, we become the victors in our life and we inspire others around us to choose what is right – and be the embodiment of love.

Take back your power. Go within. This is where we heal ourselves and the planet.

Projecting your pain and drama outwards is damaging, divisive and further perpetuates the cycle of violence.

Ultimately, blaming someone else won’t give you the freedom you desire. Only you can do that. If you want to create real change?

Utilise the momentum that your outrage has triggered. It is a powerful invitation to look deeper within.

Heal your trauma and see your (& our) world radically transform before your eyes.

Breathe the change you wish to see in the world.


If you would like some support please reach out.