This is the biggest sticking point I have. Often following supposed rules that have been established by someone else and mindlessly / on autopilot following them.
It’s the quickest way to get out of my flow and land myself in a stagnant funk. Thinking I HAVE to do things in a certain way. That there’s only one way to the top of the mountain and someone else already set the rules about how to get there. Don’t deviate, else you’ll get in trouble!
The truth is the rules are a made up construct. Every last one of them.
Can we agree there ARE some good ones. Such as treating others as you would like to be treated yourself (how many of us follow that one tho….). Be loving & kind. Pick up your litter (trash in the USA!). Respect the environment etc. I could go on.
I find the rules that are the biggest problem for me are those that live in my own head. Nobody wrote them, but I’ve installed them as truth and they subsequently keep me prisoner. Hence my own mind is the source of my pain and frustration.
Just because you made up some silly rules doesn’t mean you should follow them or that they are correct. 9 times out of 10 they are not. They’re mostly just bullsh*t that keeps you going after what you really want because of fear. Most of the rules have been put in place to help you avoid your fear. Mine included.
But what if fear didn’t exist all of a sudden? What would happen to all the so-called ‘rules’? Would you still obey them or would you lead a totally different life? I know my answer.
I’d say - that I’d stuff the rules and live my most epic life. I know and trust that it would naturally fall in line with loving intentions. Why? Because I trust myself to be loving. I know that I’m kind. Hence I trust my behaviour would be moral and ethical naturally.
Unfortunately the reason society has enacted so many rules is that we have deviated from what is good and right. What is loving and kind. Our cultures are full of such dysfunction and unresolved trauma we can’t see the wood for the trees. We need rules to tell us how to ‘keep on the straight and narrow’. I don’t believe this is our original nature. Our TRUE nature is loving. It is collaborative. It considers the good of all.
Getting back to this balance required inner work. Seeing where you are out of harmony with nature and yourself. Seeking to address the balance with shadow work and self awareness.
Once you clear out the dysfunction, harmony naturally occurs. It’s our job to do our daily cleaning of our windows so we can actually see clearly and act in accordance with our hearts.
You don’t need to follow rules you hate. But until you decide your own rules, you’ll probably do it by default.
Tune into your values and desires. Set your rules from there.
Create rules you love and that support you to be the best version of yourself. Then you’ll never feel like you’re following the ‘rules’ ever again, instead you’ll feel free.
P.S. If you're ready to create a new empowering story for yourself, I have a couple of opportunities coming up.
I'll be launching a second round of the Breathwork Detox - a group programme to reset you back to Soul! Message me to get first dibs and an early bird discount when it launches.
If working 1:1 is your thing ask me about LIBERATION - a 3 month deep dive to reclaim your true self.